

The Puritan Henry Smith said that in the scriptures there are
three Marriages of Christ:
The first was when Christ and our nature met
together.
The Almighty God, in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ joined
His divine nature with our human nature and became a man.
The Second is when Christ and our soul join
together.
In the glorious experience of becoming a Christian, Christ's
divine nature enters our souls by His Holy Spirit so that we
become a new creature.
The Third is the union of Christ and His Church.
This union is called a Mystery in verse 32 of
This mystery is the focus of our study this morning as we come to the second study that deals with
Ephesians 5 v 22 taught us last time that a wife must submit herself to her own husband for three reasons.
These 3 reasons were the teaching of verse 22
The Apostle Paul in this passage has given us the church a detailed description of the proper roles of wives and husbands. We have seen that these crucial verses have their basis in the Bible verses dealing with creation and its teaching in Genesis chapter 2. They are the Christian concept of marriage. And there is more for us to learn this morning from Ephesians 5 v 23
The verse divides neatly again into three sections continuing to answer the question "Why must a wife submit herself to her own husband?" Because
We will think about them one by one.
Last week we noticed the hierarchy of authority in God's plan for human beings in relationship with Himself - God - Christ - man - woman. Headship makes man, the husband, the ruling partner in the marriage relationship, an arrangement established by God at creation. But it is further expanded in 1 Corinthians 11 v 3
Order is the unifying factor in all of God's creation. For the
basis of man's headship and woman's submission, the Apostle Paul
appeals to the analogy of God the Father's headship over the Lord
Jesus Christ His incarnate Son. There is a chain of
subordination. Let us be really clear. The Lord Jesus Christ is
not a second-class person or deity because His Father is His
head. It is not a threat to the identity of the Lord Jesus Christ
nor detrimental to Christ's person as the God-man - the incarnate
deity - to be subject to His Father. He is of the same essence as
the Father - He is co-equal - but He humbled Himself, and made
Himself of no reputation, and came to do the work of saving His
people from their sins, by occupying their flesh, and dying for
them in that flesh. In this sense the Lord Jesus Christ submitted
to His Father - and in this sense only.
So next we can draw this principle - that just as Jesus is not
second-class in relation to His father - neither is the wife
second class or in any way inferior a person, because her husband
is her head. Can we see this very important point? How this
smashes right across those dominant, bullies of men who suppose
that wifely submission is something that authorises them to
trample over their wives! They ought to study this doctrine and
relationship between Christ and His Father - and know that He
must not dare to feel or act in anyway that is derogatory towards
His wife or any woman for that matter. Headship in the Biblical
sense is never, ever derogatory to a person's being or
essence.
The undisputed relationship between God the Father and God the
Son is an analogy for the sometimes disputed relationship between
the husband and the wife. Yet Paul sandwiches this human
relationship between the relationships of the persons of the
Godhead in this verse.
Can we see the sandwich? The head of the woman is the man -
and it is God's arrangement - and I am glad that it is. Because
if men themselves put this in place it simply would not stick!
But since it is God's order, we are bound to obey it and comply
with its implications - men and women.
The word for head in both Eph 5 v 23 and 1 Cor 11 v 3 is KEPHALE.
Of the 68 times that it appears in the NT 13 of the appearances
are metaphorical and indicate AUTHORITY. Our Focus must return
for a moment on the Garden of Eden. Remembering God established
headship before the fall, when He took Eve from Adam's side, she
was to be his helper. God created Eve second, giving Eve a
subordinate (and not a subservient) position in relation to man.
Adam was made to be ruled from his head; Eve was made to be ruled
from her heart.
We move on to the terms of the curse, in Genesis 3. Satan
persuaded Adam and Eve to change roles. Eve took the lead and the
place of headship. Satan cleverly aimed the temptation at Eve's
MIND and engaged her in an intellectual discussion
on whether or not she should do something that God had expressly
forbidden. The result was that she was
DECEIVED.
When Adam approached, Satan withdrew and allowed Eve to tempt
him, thus aiming the temptation at Adam's EMOTIONS.
The Bible says that Adam was not deceived - he was
disobedient!
In the New Creation, God re-establishes the proper order - the
original one. Man is to be the HEAD, under Christ; and the woman
is to acknowledge the headship of the man. This sounds strange
and chauvinistic to today's emancipated and liberated woman, but
it is God's order for a stable society, nevertheless. In this
passage in 1 Corinthians 11 v 3 Paul emphasises that men are to
men and be seen to be men; while women are to be women and be
seen to be women. There is nothing worse than to see a woman
developing dominant masculine traits, or a man exhibiting marked
feminine traits.
So let men be men as God has made them; and let women be women as
God has made them. Let us be satisfied with God's arrangements
for men and women, for as someone has said, (a godly woman that
is), "Give me submission any day - my husband's task as head is
far harder for him, than my loving submission to him - I would
never have his role."
Before we move on to the next point let's clear a few
misapprehensions about submission.
Submission does not remove freedom. Some will know that I
have a little interest in railway trains. I ask then "When is the
train at its most free?" When it is bumping over the ground OFF
the railway lines? - or when it is smoothly running along the
track, confined and restricted to the track? The train is freer
when it is where it ought to be, doing what it was intended to
do. Restricted to the track means freedom. Confined
to the track means ability to perform. What really brings
freedom? Getting on the right track. Freedom in God's world never
comes apart from structure. When you are free to live as God
intended, then you are indeed truly free! The path of genuine
liberation for a woman is submission - because it allows her to
runs ON THE TRACK.
The principle of submission runs right through life. It pertains
to relationships within the church as well as within the home and
family. A woman is never to take authority over men as a teacher
or a ruler. Thus these two works of elder are denied to her. The
Bible asserts this not on the basis of culture, but on the basis
of the order of creation and God's commandments following the
fall.
Submission does not reduce a woman to the level of a piece of
property - a chattel owned by her husband. This may be an Islamic
or old Japanese view - but it is not a Biblical view. A man
recognises that God has given him a gifted helper and he is going
to need all of those gifts in order for him to lead and manage
his household well. And brethren, have you read Proverbs 31 recently? Have you ever considered the
"woman of many parts" who is described there? Solomon looks at
this woman of many parts and sees a many faceted, remarkable,
liberated woman! Her husband knows how to bring her abilities to
the fore. He is a good manager who has left many decisions to her
- because he can safely trust in her.
Before any husband even begins to complain that his wife may fall
short of these remarkable ideals he should first ask himself,
"Have I provided my wife the opportunities and resources to
function as a woman of many parts?" How can we expect a wife to
be submissive in HER role, guided on HER tracks, if we have not
provided the means for her to blossom as the child of God that
she is? That is the responsibility of headship - to provide our
wives, and other sisters in the Church, with the environment of
submission. But this may be jumping the gun a little and
anticipating more of the husband's role, than our subject this
morning. For the husband is the head of the wife.
So next let us pick up the second phrase in verse 23 -
The concept of headship phases some people because they seem
to think that, of necessity, headship carries the idea of an
inherent inferiority - in someone else. But this is not so. The
whole notion of the headship of the man, the husband, in the
married relationship, is comparable to that of troops to their
general. An army would be chaotic if each soldier had the right
to decide what was to be done. Or if we think of a football or
cricket team. The first thing to do when a team is formed is to
appoint a captain. All 11 men are not captains - if they were
they would never win a match. They appoint a captain, who may not
necessarily be the best player - but the rest of the team decide
that he has the best leadership skills. After appointment the
rest of the team submit to him and his decisions. Similarly a
committee when it meets chooses a chairman - because it needs
some authority. Business cannot be transacted unless there is a
chairman. Or to think of the House of Commons - in every new
Parliament there is a Speaker of the House elected, who exercises
control and give his ruling. He is not the greatest man or woman
in the House; the other MP's are by no means inferior to the
speaker - yet the MP's have set him aside to this position of
authority. In all of these cases the leaders are first amongst
equals - that's all.
Now a husband is head of his wife as also Christ is head of his
church. The Lord Jesus Christ is a real man who has ONE body, ONE
head and together head and body make's a unity.
The Church, comprising of all the true and elect believers in the
Lord, real Christians, is also ONE body with ONE head - it is a
unity.
Just as two heads would produce a monster - so there can be only
ONE head. Only one or the other - the man or his wife can be the
head - and God's order is that it should be the man.
We have been seeing that the headship of the ruling partner in a
marriage is an arrangement established by creation.
But it is also established by REDEMPTION. The introduction of
this lovely Bible word REDEMPTION brings the Lord Jesus Christ
into focus and His position as the head of the Church. This is
not a new doctrine to us. It was with us in Ephesians 1 v 22
When we studied this verse we noticed this - the Lord Jesus
Christ as the head of the Church is not merely the highest
authority in the Church, head in the church. He is the highest
authority, in command of the whole universe. He is the head of
Moslems - although they would not admit it - head of atheists,
Buddhists, Shintoists, Jehovah's witnesses, Mormons and all
others in the universe - men and angels. But now Paul homes in on
Christ's headship of the Church. By the Church Paul does not
means CHRISTENDOM, the professing peoples who nominally profess
that they are Christians. He means the real Church that consists
of the elect, true Christians who are those people who are called
saints; those who have had their sins forgiven and pardoned and
are trusting in the redemption and cleansing power of the blood
of Jesus Christ. They have put their personal faith in the Lord
Jesus Christ. At their conversion they were baptised by the Holy
Spirit into the body of Christ, and now he indwells them. That is
the church and its members are found in all parts of Christendom.
The true church knows no denominational boundaries. It is not
limited by race or creed, or colour of skin, or social class, or
time or space. There are more of the church's members in heaven
now than there are on earth. The Church's unity is NOT an
organisational unity - it is an ORGANIC unity that is
different.
And the Lord Jesus Christ is head of this glorious group of
people, the Church, His church. Are you a true member of this
true church?
The we saw it again in Chapter 4 v 15
We are to be conformed to our Head the Lord Jesus Christ
because He is our head. He is God; He is the most important
person in the universe.
We are also to be conformed to our Head because He is the
ultimate authority over us - there is no one else. Thirdly we are
to be conformed to Christ our head because of the union between
the head and His body - between Christ and the Church.
These texts reveal in what sense the Lord Jesus Christ is the
Church's head. He is her head as being the One who is vitally
interested in her welfare. He cares intensely about His body the
church. His rule is directed to her as her redeemer and her
protector. Which leads us to the third aspect of this truth in
verse 23
Let us just pause for a moment and reflect on the remarkable
arrangement that all this is in the description of the marriage
bond. Certainly no higher view of marriage can be imagined than
the sublime conception that makes two things to be true -
Obedience is a matter of devotion - that is the wife's
submission,
AND
Authority is an expression of love - the man's love for his wife,
based on Christ's love for His church.
The two words OBEDIENCE and AUTHORITY tend to be dirty words in
our society's vocabulary. Obedience smacks of someone
trying the control me - yet I want to be free to do my own thing
because I see it as my right.
And Authority tells me that there is someone out there who
is itching to tell me what to do and Lord it over me against my
will.
But in the Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour we have such a glorious
pattern of how to live and such a perfect example of humanity. He
is worth submitting to and obeying and that obedience is part of
my devotion to Him as a Christian. "In full and glad surrender I
give myself to Thee." And I cannot complain at His Authority to
rule me as a believer because His Authority is truly an
expression of His tender love for my soul - He is my
saviour.
Now we transcribe that into the wife /husband relationship and we
find a wonderful pattern. The wife deeply in love with her head,
her husband, does not find it hard to serve him out of willing
obedience and devotion. She lives for it, she has dreamed of it,
and is supremely happy in it - when her husband uses all of his
manly authority to maintain her, protect her and defend
her.
Sadly many of today's women in society wish to maintain
themselves having an independent income to spend on herself only.
Not for her a trust in her husband's loving maintenance and
provision for her needs. Now it is true that there are
circumstances that drive women to have to supplement the family
income or even to be the main breadwinner - a husband's illness
or even absence can cause this to occur. The Lord understands
these things - but it is the principle that we are thinking of
here.
Many women today seek to protect themselves with their own career
rather than to trust themselves for security from their husbands.
And many seek to defend themselves in society through women's
interest groups and pressure groups rather than placing
themselves under their husband's responsibility to defend
them.
You will understand that these principles are in the light of
Christ's maintenance, protection and defence of the believer as
Saviour. Some of the activities mentioned are legitimate in
certain circumstances - but NOT if they replace or ignore the
husband's primary role in caring for his wife.
I wonder if we really realise the great love and care that the
Lord Jesus Christ has for us as individuals? As we shall see
Christ's love and care is vast and boundless. He has even given
us an example of how selfless, patient, and utterly devoted to us
He is as one who loves with authority.
Do we know the case of the prophet Hosea? Hosea had a wife named
Gomer and he displayed unfailing tenderness towards this wife of
his. What is so special about that you may ask? We need to know
what sort of wife Gomer was. She was unfaithful to him, went
after other lovers, conceived children of whoredom and refused to
return to him even though he pleaded and pleaded with her to come
home. After a while she was in real trouble. Hosea instead of
rejecting her, slips away to her haunt of shame and buys her back
for money and some barley - and then he mercifully restores her
to her former position of honour as his wife. He is an example of
the saviour's self-sacrificing selfless love.
Hosea's name means Salvation and his experience is an
illustration of Jehovah's deep love for the people of Israel who
had forsaken Him and compromised herself with idolatry. But
Jehovah waited for her and bought her back.
The Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour has loved us the same. And the
lesson for us is this - let the wife therefore obey her husband
who loves her so very, very much. And let her bear in mind that
being obedient to her husband she is being obedient to her
Lord.
What a precious phrase this is at the end of verse 23 -
The pronoun HE in this verse refers not to the husband but to
the Lord Jesus Christ who is the saviour of the body. The focus
is on the Lord - the saviour who died to provide us with freedom
from punishment and pardon for all our sins. He protects us now
with his love and mercy and he defends us from attacks by the
enemy of souls.
Doesn't it seem absolutely incredible to you, that there are
those in the world who reject this gracious offer of love and
care from the Lord Jesus Christ? There are those who are not
Christians, some are even here this morning, who are not prepared
to recognise His giving, providing and maintenance of their
souls? They really want their independence from God - I'll go it
alone they say - I don't want a saviour.
There are those too who are not prepared to accept His marvellous
protection and love in their lives. These people prefer to be
exposed to the effects of sin and rebellion in their own
life.
Or they are not prepared to accept His redemption and deliverance
from hell and punishment - that He has already taken upon
himself. And more than this He has risen again - come alive and
now cares so deeply for His children.
Are you one of those here this morning my friend? If you are then
you need to consider your position. There is only one way to get
right with God - and that is to come to recognise that you are
not right with God - that your sinful lifestyle and selfishness
is separating you from His holy self. Then once that realisation
is apparent you need to repent of your sin - that means to turn
away and forsake it. God calls everyone to do this - and we are
obliged to obey. Then you must reach out to God and plead for His
mercy and ask for His forgiveness, with the hope that He will
hear and forgive through His Son the Lord Jesus Christ. You need
to come through Him - He is the One who will speak for you at the
judgement throne of God - we all need someone to speak for us
when we are in trouble with the law - Jesus Christ is ready to
save those who will come to Him and ask Him for His help,
surrendering themselves to Him.
Will you go to the Lord Jesus Christ today my friend? He alone
has the words of eternal life - He alone can forgive us
everything that we have ever done - and pardon us.
He died so that ordinary men and women can be saved - for He
alone is the saviour of His people, the Church, the body. May He
reveal Himself to some today, that they are indeed members of His
body through faith in Him?
